Everyday I wake up I am a child. Every time I start to write a new song, my knowledge of music seems to be a blank A4. As the music builds up, as I find possible paths to walk, I become a conqueror. A nubian king. Majestic. The child can not understand how it once was a king. The ruler soon forgets that he was just a clueless infant.
When I was 20 I went to a jazz camp on the Swedish west coast. The hosts were pianist Lars Jansson, bass player Lars Danielsson and drummer Anders Kjellberg. Their records are beautiful but far from dangerous. Seeing them perform live was another story. When they jammed at night they whirled up the spirits. They shook down the rafters. They went on balancing on the edge of a cliff with blood taste in their mouths. I was overwhelmed then, like a chest ache; I want to be inside the music. Inside. Where it fills up every cavity of your cell structure. Where it’s physical. Where you are the host animal to a parasite feasting on your vascular system. Where that parasite is also your horse to get you forward.
To approach music this way has been a deep source of joy for me ever since; To start from a blank mind. To get a picture of the music and dive in. To find a balance on the path appearing ahead of you and to rule from there. Your kingdom reaches only as far as your next step, your jurisdiction is only what direction to take.
For reference on the importance of balance and vertigo in creativity: